Covanxiety - An Open Letter From An Independent Therapist
Before This Age of Corona I was a therapeutic hypnotist in Worthing specialising in anxiety related issues, but that has all but ground to a halt for now. This could have been a challenging time for me, but I have been able to accept everything that I have had to accept so far because I have a sound understanding of my own mind. The one thing that really bothers me though is redundancy at a time when I can help. I am reading at my leisure how much people's mental health is suffering when I could help with that. I am reading NHS doctors say that they need support now when I could help with that, and have offered it for free. I am reading about how employers need help to support their employees back to work when I can help with that. I have read that one in four youths are struggling to get mental health care when I can help with that. I have read that Coronavirus could bring on a global mental health crisis. I can help with that.
What bothers me more than anything else is that amongst all this reported suffering, my phone and e-mails remain almost silent when they used to be busy. I've offered discounts and free sessions because I know I can do a lot for most who contact me. The only way that I have been able to make myself useful during this crisis has been to stack shelves and operate a till in Tesco. That earned me the title of key worker while ten years of therapeutic experience is sitting on the sidelines watching people struggle because I rely on people to come to me for help, and I am sure that I am not alone.
I want to help. I want to help because it feels good to help. I want to help because I can help. I want to help because I know how to. I want to help because whether working for free, for heavily reduced or my normal charges it is good for my business to help. I want to help because despite the challenges that I have faced in my own life during this, I have never felt anxious, never felt depressed, never felt angry or scared, because I know my own mind and I can teach others to know theirs.
When things were normal I saw around ten people every week for therapy, and I was able to help most of them very quickly, but I have seen just three clients (in online video sessions) in two months while the mental health of the world is apparently falling apart.
When I read headlines such as those that I have mentioned above, I get images in my mind of broken people, of people suffering, of people crying alone or fighting with others in their shared confinement as confusing emotions overwhelm them, images of people going back to work scared of getting ill. I get images of people that I can help in my mind, I can help but I can't, because I don't know who they are, and the images in my mind are not real so I have no option but to dismiss them as mere thoughts for my own good, although I know the real people are out there.
There is a popular saying out there at the moment 'it is what it is' which in theory is a good statement embodying acceptance of the current situation. It puts me in mind of another statement that is often used more specifically about mental health – 'it's okay to not be okay'. Both these statements are well intentioned, but I am reluctant to agree with them entirely. It is not what it is if 'it' is anxiety, fear or anger. It is not okay to not be okay if there are ways to feel better.
If we really are entering a mental health crisis then there is an army of independent therapists and coaches out there with expertise that can help people feel better, but they cannot help anyone unless those in need make themselves known to them. If anyone is having trouble finding support through mainstream infrastructure then look outside of it to independent practitioners or smaller organisations many of whom have plenty of room on their books and the know-how to get their clients back to themselves, adapted to this new world. If someone is being encouraged to get 'back to normal' but does not feel ready or feels confused or unsafe then there is help available to get them moving again and in doing so they'll be helping the therapists get moving again.
It is what it is unless you can do something to make 'it' better. It is not okay for you to not be okay when I and my many independent colleagues can help you be okay. Seek us out, reach out to us, speak to us and sound us out, and if you like what we say and how we say it – let us help you and help us in return.
While the microbiologists work hard learning to master one unseen enemy, help us get to work and nip this other unseen enemy in the bud before it becomes another crisis.
I can't speak for others, but if money is an issue for you – let's talk anyway – we can work something out. If money is okay – let's talk about what I can do for you.